There Is No Cure

30 Oct

alzheimers no cure

I had been feeling sick for a few weeks. I kept telling myself that it was just a cold mixed with being  really tired. Aren’t all caregivers tired? The weather is drifting between fall and summer from day to day. Isn’t everybody feeling a little under the weather? Then came the worst headache of my life, my throat felt like it was on fire, my eyes looked like I’d gone on some sort or illegal drug binge, my body felt like Mike Tyson had used me as a punching bag, I could stay awake for 2 hrs max at a time, and my fever kept coming and going. I FINALLY decided to call the 24 hour nurse line. The nurse advised me to go to an Urgent Care Center in the AM. A quick test showed that I had strep throat, an eye infection, an ear infection, and a sinus infection. I had the SUPER cooties! LOL  Here’s the amazing thing, I got 4 prescriptions filled and within days I was much better.

My mother and the millions of people living with Alzheimer’s have no magical cocktail of pills to cure their disease. THAT SUCKS! It just sucks. As my mother’s delusions and mood swings intensify, her memories fade, and her abilities lessen and weaken, I can’t help but get angry. I want a cure for my mother. I want a miracle for my mother. I want my mother to NOT have Alzheimer’s. I want reality to not be reality. I want a cure…NOW! Then I remember the words of Byron Kate, “I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” I cause myself pain when I do not embrace the reality that at this point there is no cure for Alzheimer’s. That is simply the way it is. I have faith. I have hope. I also have reality. I embrace them all. My mother has Alzheimer’s, a disease for which there is no cure. I also believe that there will be a cure one day and that God has a purpose for all that this experience brings to my mother and all of us who love and care for her. All of this is true for me. If I fight against my reality I lose. I waste time being angry, depressed, overwhelmed. I get frustrated when the impacts of an insatiable disease like Alzheimer’s show up in my mother’s behavior and abilities. That is not fair to her. There is no cure and I must make peace with that reality.

3 Responses to “There Is No Cure”

  1. bnfitdc October 30, 2014 at 1:44 am #

    Reblogged this on bnfitdc.

  2. Shanice J. October 30, 2014 at 8:11 pm #

    My grandparents had Alzheimer’s as well and it was very hard on my parents because the feeling of the one who has raised you now not really knowing you is really hard and tough.. and I watched and listened to my grandmother utter things that didn’t make sense; it was hard but there is no cure but with God all things are possible. I look forward to the day where we can get rid of this disease.

  3. Lisa October 31, 2014 at 5:07 pm #

    Deli, I pray for you and your family every day! I ask God for the strength that only He can give you. It is amazing to me that you still manage to not just function, but to be productive in your life and in music ministry as well. God bless you. I love you!!

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